GAOP: Only wood-weasels shall associate with me

There are some things about this GAOP that may convince people that I’m a bit of a douchey hipster. Firstly, the title – wood-weasels? What on earth is she on about? The title is actually a quote from a modernist poem by Marianne Moore (this is DEFINITELY a strike two). And to crown me as queen of ‘douchebaggery,’ the highlight of this outfit is my turtleneck dress.

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I’m a self-confessed turtleneck junkie. I long for winter to come every year just so I can pull out my turtlenecked clothes (I have 5, I think) from the farthest corner of my closet. This knit dress (from Urban Outfitters) is a favourite of mine these days.

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Unfortunately, people think that a turtleneck is a costume that represents the stereotypically artsy snob. Some people steer away from it as if doing so will preserve their artistic integrity or something. The ‘repulsive’ quality of turtlenecks is partly what got me into collecting and wearing them. It isn’t for the sake of irony, but for the sake of deconstructing the image of snobbery, and in turn, the power structure.

Let me explain.

The turtleneck’s status as quintessential douchewear comes from a historical, social context (like everything in the world). The ruff is possibly one of the turtleneck’s fashion predecessors. Because it was worn mostly by the royal and noble, it became associated with the upper class. Adding to that is the fact that notoriously douchey public figures have donned turtlenecks (like Andy Warhol, haha).

I have a theory that by treating the turtleneck as a marker of snobbery, you’re maintaining the power structure. Boycotting simply won’t cut it. You’ll only sustain class exclusivity because you’re reinforcing the social construct that only the high-cultured can pull off a turtleneck.

The way to go is to DISEMPOWER this social construct. I say, wear a friggin turtleneck and knock the 1% off their pedestal. Also, if you wear a turtleneck without the intent of emulating the upper class and high culture, you reduce it into what it really is – a type of clothing with a really high neck.

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I realise that there is also a level of stigma around wearing circle glasses and giant sunglasses, but that’s more of an aesthetic thing, I guess. Some people think they look ridiculous, and that’s partly the reason why I like wearing them. I own four circle glasses haha. The ones I’m wearing are from Glassons.

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Anyway, thanks for reading my musings about turtlenecks and the power structure!

See y’all next time.

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P.S. Micro transgressions are better than no transgressions at all 😉

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4 thoughts on “GAOP: Only wood-weasels shall associate with me

  1. ‘Tis the season to be introverted!

    As a fellow turtleneck junkie, I love your thoughts on this topic, and it raised an interesting question: Do snobs douchbaggify the turtleneck as a garment, or is the turtleneck maligned for snobifying otherwise good people?

    Let me draw an example from Steve Jobs. I don’t know much about this guy, and I’ve never bought any of his products, but he began his company with a counter-culture vision against snobbery. Over the years he adopted the famous black turtleneck and blue jeans – a simple, albeit esoteric, “costume” to brand his mindset.

    But his success might have resulted in the biggest indignity to true turtleneck enthusiasts. He underhandedly convinced legions of fanboys and girls to promote the exclusivity of his gadgets so that he could grow his own company. He created the first virtual highbrow culture, transforming innocent consumers into techno-snobs, which ironically vaulted his turtleneck caricature into douchebag status. His became a mascot for elite wannabes, marring the reputation of the garment.

    But, you’ve snubbed the snooty attitude by contrasting your turtleneck with an adorably hipster selection of sunglasses, necklaces, boots, and such. To further that point, you should distinguish it from other sweater styles, highlighting the seriously snuggly appeal of the “really high neck.” Keep your chin warm, your body healthy, your heating bills low, and your style up. Re-brand the turtleneck as “determination’s totem” against the everlasting chill of the winter season – it’s not just an icon for us wood-weasels anymore.

    (And, if you have time, show off the rest of your turtleneck collection for us. You look great, and your photography and thoughts have inspired us. Thank you and stay warm, Christienne.)

    1. I think that initially the snobs douchbaggify turtlenecks (and everything else that signifies douchebaggery). I figure that if a person wears a turtleneck without the intention of aligning themselves with the snobs, the person’s snobification happens merely through prejudiced eyes. The turtleneck wearer is not at fault in this case. I’d even go as far as saying that ‘good’ people are never truly snobbified, unless they participate in the culture of snobbery, which is the case of Steve-O.

      I really like your point about rebranding the turtleneck as ‘determination’s totem’ against cold weather. It’s definitely better to emphasise the practicality of the garment. Also, the best thing that us turtleneck wearers should do is cancel out the status of the turtleneck as an icon.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts about this topic! I hope I’ll see you around in my other deconstruction/fashion posts 🙂

      1. [Ha-ha] Your cheeky writing style complements your sharp fashion sense. And I agree, the cozy turtleneckiness is best enjoyed by those with the confidence to nuzzle the collar up to their earlobes, and protest the douche with a muted cheer “Yay practicality!” You were so sweet to have indulged me on a topic I’m so passionate about, Christienne, thank you. 🙂

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