The Dark Night

I’ve been a little bit afraid of the dark since I was younger. I grew up in a big house that always seemed eerie after all the lights downstairs are turned off. I still remember those days a few hours after dinner time, I’d need a glass of water before bed. It usually meant going down the stairs and slowly walking through the large hall with only the lights from an aquarium to illuminate the walls.

It wouldn’t have been scary if my uncle and grandma didn’t have all those creepy, random stories about the kapre and the white (black and red) lady and dead people lurking in the shadows with their barong tagalog on.

It’s safe to say (and sadly) these stories have lost their effect when we moved to New Zealand. Nature is everywhere but I never have to worry about the nuno sa punso or duwende or anything except for actual people really lurking in the dark out to possibly beat the crap out of me.

I hate hate hated it when we first had to turn daylight savings off. It meant that I had to walk home from work at night and not the beautiful, magical golden hour. I am in love with that small pocket of time that  just puts everything in that awesome golden filter before everything looks a bit scary. Everything just seemed menacing on the first night I had to walk home. The trees that held so much magic looked like they were out to get me. The streetlights held no feeling of safety just weirdly lighting some places and casting shadows on others.

Now can you just imagine my horror when I stepped out of my bus one night to see almost all the streetlights on my way home turned off. What the freaking hell is going on?  I was suddenly afraid that I couldn’t even listen to kpop with one of my earphones on.  Okay I live in a good neighbourhood and it really was just 1.4 kilometres from my bus stop to my place. But still. DARKNESS. Only saved by lights from the windows of houses and the headlights of passing cars. In the moment my dread started to sink in I realised that that night was the night of the lunar eclipse. Maybe they turned it off so that people can see the red moon. I looked up, excited. Cloudy nothing.  I looked around. Darkness nothing. Hey lights might come back soon, stay optimistic. But dread and fear started to wash over me with every step I took. So I ran.
My backpack bounced quite a bit as I ran. I can hear the sloshing of water in the water bottle on my left hand. I gripped my phone so hard on the other as my earphone dangled from them. I was so scared I wanted to cry but I just ran faster. Inhaling the sharp, cold air just made me run even more. I got home. Fluorescent lights have never felt so comforting.

>> tl:dr? I don’t like the dark. But here’s a series of photos that reminds me that sometimes I like the dark. When I’m safely inside a car. I took these after my friends and I had dinner at Gangnam Style. We went back and forth the harbour bridge because my friend made a series of wrong turns and exits in the motorway. Hello North Shore, Bye North shore, Hello North Shore, Bye North Shore. Okay. Lights. (BTW my friend was distracted with all our talking that’s why she missed so many turns and exits. She had zero alcohol because drink driving is disgusting and evil. Grr.)

the night

So… how about you? Are you afraid of the dark?


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